With Mother's Day coming up, I wanted to post this reflection on something that has come up a few times as a mom - as you pay more and more attention to your kids, you forget yourself. It's easy to become invisible.
If I had a superpower, I think it would be the power of invisibility. At least that’s what you’d think by looking at pictures I have on my computer or around the house. I’m in very few of them, and instead I’m the one behind the camera. That’s fine, I obviously love to take pictures. But it’s more than that.
I'm terrified of what I'll see in the picture. I'm afraid I won't be happy with what I'll see and it will break my confidence. That's really hard to confess, but there it is. And I'm working to fix it, because I think it's important that my kids see me in pictures around our house. I don't want to be the invisible mom anymore, disappearing into the background.
So why do we hide?
There is a difference between perception and reality. We all know/have heard about the influence of media images. They build up an image that can’t be sustained (why, hello Instagram!). If you build up this perfect image of anyone or anything, eventually something will crack that facade, then what? How do you reconcile it with the identity you had created? You end up thinking that everything was fake, nothing about it was real. You set yourself up for failure when you buy into the perfection story. But here's the thing - “life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful” (Joey Harrington, TEDx Portland 2016). We don't have to be perfect to be wonderful, and the people who love us want to see us just as we are.
I've been so afraid to be confronted with my own imperfections, and I try to blend with the background. So it's time to show up, imperfections and all.
Are you hiding too?